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On being bisexual
Posted:Nov 22, 2020 5:50 am
Last Updated:Nov 30, 2020 5:58 pm
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I've been bisexual since, well, I was pretty young. I didn't accept it until much later in life (my 40s), but I've always enjoyed anal stimulation. Like many guys, I think, I experimented with "grocery store dildos," and in my 30s I even went so far as to buy a small vibrator I would surreptitiously use when alone. When BBS systems and AOL emerged, I was in there, chatting fantasies of gay sex with the newly discovered world of gay and bi men emerging from the shadows online. I was scared death at first, only engaging in fantasy chats. The first guy I ever met was just someone who only wanted (like me) jack off together. I was terrified of disease (HIV of course, but also the raft of other nasty sexually transmittable diseases that still give pause about meeting anyone).

The first time I had anal sex with a guy I was petrified. Even with a condom. He was a very nice Black man who, in hindsight, I should have trusted more. He was a business exec, owned a very nice home, and was gay. I saw him twice, and he was the one who convinced me that anal sex would be the most gratifying way for me have an orgasm.

Men still don't turn my head on the street; women do, and frequently. I adore a sexy woman, one who knows what they have and makes the most of it. One who is comfortable and confident in what they want and do sexually. Single versions of those women are few and far between, so I resort sex with men, usually with a MF couple, for fulfillment. I've come think a "closed-loop" relationship with a couple or circle of sexual friends would be ideal at this stage. But I'm still leery of disease, especially now in the Age of Covid. We all have be more careful than we've ever been.
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